When Life Forces a Pivot…What Do You Do? (Part 1)
When the path you planned changes, here’s how to keep moving without abandoning yourself.
We’re taught that goals are supposed to be linear.
You pick a direction. You work hard. You keep going. Eventually you arrive.
But real life doesn’t move in straight lines. It moves like the weather. Sometimes clear, sometimes storming, sometimes rearranging the entire landscape overnight.
Over the past few months, my life has changed in ways I couldn’t have planned for. Not small changes. The kind that shifts your daily routines, your future plans, and even your sense of who you are inside your own life.
Because of that, I’ve had to put some things on pause. Including something that means a great deal to me: my pilot lessons.
And I want to say something that I think more people need to hear:
Pausing a dream is not the same thing as giving up on it.
Some goals require stability, time, money, focus, and emotional bandwidth. When those foundations are shaken, pushing through at full speed isn’t determination. Sometimes it’s self-destruction dressed up as discipline.
So instead of forcing forward, I’m pivoting.
For now, I’m chasing another goal I’ve always wanted to accomplish: learning to play guitar.
Not as a substitute, but as a different path forward while I rebuild the parts of life that make my other goals possible.
But what happens to these goals though, when we do put them on pause?
Dreams Can Hibernate
In gardening, there’s a concept that completely changed how I think about pauses: dormancy.
Dormancy isn’t a failure. It’s survival.
Plants pull energy inward. Growth stops above ground, but below the surface, roots are doing critical work. Strengthening. Storing resources. Preparing for a future season that doesn’t exist yet.
Our goals can do the same thing.
Putting something on hold doesn’t erase the desire or the identity behind it. I didn’t stop wanting to fly. I’m just acknowledging that right now isn’t the season for it.
The Power of a Gentle Pivot
When a major part of your life stops moving, there’s a strange pressure to either push harder or give up entirely. But there’s a third option: change direction without abandoning yourself.
A gentle pivot isn’t about replacing one dream with another. It’s about continuing to grow in ways your current reality can support while the conditions for bigger goals are being rebuilt.
That’s what learning guitar is for me right now. It’s something I’ve wanted to pursue for years but never made space for. Not because it matters more than flying, but because it’s something I can begin exactly where I am.
Progress doesn’t always mean moving straight toward the life you originally imagined. Sometimes it means building skills, confidence, or stability in a different area so you’re still growing, even if you can’t move directly toward that goal right now.
A pivot isn’t stepping off the journey. It’s adjusting how you move so you can keep going without breaking yourself in the process.
You Don’t Have to Explain Everything
Changing direction doesn’t just affect you. Other people notice. They ask questions. They expect updates, timelines, and reasons. Sometimes they just look at you differently.
But you don’t always have clear answers, especially while you’re still living through the change. Trying to explain something you don’t fully understand yet can feel exhausting.
It’s okay to say less. It’s okay to offer a simple version of the truth and leave the rest unsaid. You don’t have to justify why your priorities shifted or why your capacity looks different right now.
Not everyone needs the full story. And you don’t have to narrate your healing in real time for it to be valid.
Sometimes the most honest thing you can say is simply: things changed.
When Your Identity Feels Unclear
Even after you stop explaining things to everyone else, you still have to live inside the change yourself. And that can be the hardest part.
Major life shifts don’t just rearrange your circumstances. They remove the structure you used to understand yourself through. Roles change. Routines disappear. The future you were orienting toward is suddenly uncertain.
It can feel disorienting, like you’ve been dropped into a version of your own life that doesn’t quite fit yet. Not necessarily worse. Just unfamiliar.
But unfamiliar doesn’t mean empty. In nature, cleared ground isn’t dead ground. It can be the most fertile space, because nothing is competing for light or choking out new growth before it has a chance to take hold.
Not knowing exactly who you are in this season doesn’t mean you’ve lost yourself. It means you’re in the middle of becoming someone new.
And becoming — especially when you didn’t choose the timing — is exhausting in ways that aren’t always visible.
Herbal Support for Times of Major Change
That kind of uncertainty doesn’t just live in your thoughts. Your body carries it too. Fatigue, tension, restless sleep, a nervous system that feels permanently on high alert.
This is where gentle plant support can make a real difference. Not to erase what you’re feeling, but to help you move through it without burning out.
Here are 5 steady, everyday herbs I reach for during seasons of major change.
🌼 1. Tulsi (Holy Basil)
Tulsi is an adaptogen that helps the body cope with stress overload. It doesn’t sedate you or stimulate you. It steadies you.
I think of it as an emotional shock absorber. Something that softens the impact of daily stress so it doesn’t accumulate as quickly.
Excellent as a daily tea when life feels like too much.
🌸2. Lemon Balm
Lemon balm is for the mind that won’t stop replaying everything.
It gently reduces anxiety, lifts mood, and takes the sharp edges off rumination without dulling your clarity. Safe, approachable, and incredibly kind to the nervous system.
If your thoughts feel loud, this is a good place to start.
🌹3. Rose
Rose is an emotional first aid.
The scent of rose has long been used to support the heart during grief, loss, and major life transitions. Aromatically, it can reduce anxiety and promote a sense of calm without making you feel sedated or disconnected.
Because smell connects directly to the brain’s emotional centers, even brief exposure can be grounding. A drop of rose oil on a tissue, a simple diffuser, or dried petals nearby can provide quiet support when things feel raw.
🌿4. Oatstraw / Milky Oats
For long-term stress, burnout, or emotional depletion, milky oats are deeply nourishing.
They don’t work overnight. Their support is gradual, helping the nervous system recover from sustained strain rather than acute overwhelm. Over time, they can feel like restoring the reserves that stress quietly drains away.
An overnight infusion is commonly used to extract their full nutrient profile, making them especially suited for steady, long-term support.
🌙5. Chamomile
Chamomile is simple, familiar, and profoundly effective.
It signals safety to the body. Helps with sleep, digestion, and emotional tension. A nightly cup can become a ritual that tells your nervous system the day is over and you can rest.
When Everything Looks Different…
So, if you’re in a season where everything looks different from it did before, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. It means your life has changed.
You’re in winter.
Even when nothing is visible above ground, important work is still happening. Roots are growing deeper. Systems are being repaired. Energy is being stored for a future season you can’t see yet.
Some seasons are for building. Others are for stabilizing, adjusting, or simply enduring what you didn’t choose. All of them are part of a full life.
And sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is pause, pivot, and trust that forward motion will be possible again, even if it looks different from before
Dream Check In: 🎸 The Pivot Project - Learning to Play Guitar
Because the heart of TriGardening is about more than growing plants — it’s about using them as tools to grow ourselves, make steady progress on the things that matter, and feel more grounded while we do it. This check-in is where I share my goal updates every week — and invite you to do the same so we can grow together.
Since I can’t move forward on my pilot’s license right now, I’m choosing something I can make progress on.
For the next six months, I’m committing to learning how to play guitar. Not as a replacement for anything else, but as a way to stay curious, creative, and moving while life settles into its new shape.
I did try to learn when I was younger, but never stuck with it. I never got comfortable with strumming, and singing while playing still feels like trying to pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.
Each week, I’ll share a quick update here, what I practiced, what improved, what felt awkward, and what surprised me along the way. No pressure for perfection. Just progress.
Consider this a public experiment in what happens when you give steady attention to something small.
Until next week - stay curious, stay growing.
-KC 🌱